Indonesian etiquette: the habits that make a difference

Indonesian etiquette is not a list of rules to memorise so much as a set of signals that you are paying attention. The country is made up of hundreds of ethnic groups and six recognised religions, and the expectations in a Balinese temple are not the same as in an Acehnese coffee shop. What travels across all of them is a preference for harmony, indirectness and respect for elders.

For visitors, the practical version is short: dress modestly away from the beach, use your right hand, take your shoes off indoors, do not lose your temper in public and do not point the soles of your feet at anyone. None of it is difficult, and all of it is noticed. The reward is not a gold star; it is being treated as a guest rather than a customer.

Greetings and the right hand

A simple 'selamat pagi' before noon, 'selamat siang' through the afternoon and 'selamat malam' after dark goes a long way. 'Terima kasih' means thank you and 'sama-sama' means you are welcome. In Bali, 'om swastiastu' is the formal greeting, and a nod with both hands together is a respectful alternative to a handshake.

The right-hand rule is real. Pass money, food, gifts and business cards with your right hand, and avoid touching people with your left. When you meet someone older or in authority, a slight bow of the head and a lower hand position is polite. Do not touch the top of anyone's head, including a child's, and avoid public displays of affection beyond holding hands.

Pointing with the index finger is considered rude. Use an open hand, or gesture with your thumb and a slight nod. Beckoning someone with a curled finger is also impolite; wave with the palm down instead. These details are small, but they are the ones people remember.

• Right hand for giving, receiving and eating
• No touching heads, including children
• Point with an open hand, not a finger
• A nod and a smile beat a firm handshake

Dress and temples

Indonesia is a modest country by default. Away from the beach, cover your shoulders and knees, especially in towns, markets and government buildings. Beachwear belongs on the beach. In Aceh, which applies Sharia law, the expectations are stricter and apply to visitors as well: cover up, and do not assume alcohol is available.

At a Balinese temple you will need a sarong and a sash, usually available at the entrance or outside for a small donation. Shoulders should be covered, and women who are menstruating are traditionally asked not to enter. Do not stand in front of people praying, do not climb on shrines, and do not photograph a ceremony without asking. A quiet 'boleh foto?' is enough.

At mosques, remove your shoes, cover your head if you are a woman and avoid visiting during prayers unless you are joining. In Java and Sumatra, the call to prayer is part of the soundscape, and Friday lunchtime is a quiet hour for many businesses. Plan around it rather than being annoyed by it.

Eating, drinking and Ramadan

Food is usually eaten with the right hand in a warung or at home, though spoons and forks are standard in restaurants. If you eat with your hand, keep it clean and use only the fingertips. Do not put your hand into a shared dish without using the serving spoon, and do not drink directly from a bottle that is being shared unless it is offered that way.

Alcohol is available in Bali and most tourist areas, less so in Aceh and parts of Sumatra. Drinking in public is not normal outside bars and restaurants. If you are invited to someone's home, bring a small gift, fruit or something for the children, and expect to be fed. Refusing food outright can cause offence; take a little even if you are not hungry.

During Ramadan, many Muslims fast from dawn to sunset. In cities such as Jakarta, Bandung, Surabaya and Medan, restaurants may be closed or curtained during the day, and it is considerate not to eat, drink or smoke in front of someone who is fasting. The evenings are the opposite: food stalls open at sunset and the atmosphere is worth seeing.

• Use the right hand or cutlery
• Do not refuse food outright
• Alcohol is not universal
• Be discreet about eating during Ramadan

Money, tipping and bargaining

Tipping is not expected in Indonesia, but it is appreciated in tourism. Round up a taxi fare, leave IDR 20,000 to 50,000 in a hotel room, and add 5 to 10 percent at a restaurant if service is not already included. Many restaurants add a service charge and tax, which is shown on the bill. Do not tip on top of that unless the service was exceptional.

Bargaining is normal in markets and with street vendors, not in shops with fixed prices, hotels or restaurants. Start at around half to two-thirds of the asking price and stay friendly. Walking away is part of the game; getting angry is not. A smile and a joke will get you further than a hard negotiation.

Cash is still king outside the main cities. Carry small notes, because change is often scarce, and keep a reserve for places that do not take cards. ATMs are common in Bali and Java but unreliable on smaller islands, and a card that works in one machine may fail in the next.

The things that cause real offence

Losing your temper in public is the big one. Indonesian culture places a high value on calm and harmony, and shouting at a driver or a hotel clerk will lose you the argument and the goodwill. If something goes wrong, stay quiet, explain the problem slowly and ask for a solution. Escalating rarely helps.

Drugs are a serious matter. Indonesia has some of the harshest drug laws in the world, including the death penalty for trafficking, and possession can mean years in prison. There is no tourist exemption and no leniency for a small amount. This is not a place to experiment.

Politics, religion and the military are subjects best avoided with strangers. Criticism of the government or of a religion can cause genuine offense, and it is not a debate you need to win. Ask about family, food and football instead. Every conversation is easier that way.

Questions people actually ask

Do I need to cover my head in Indonesia?

Only in mosques, and only women. Elsewhere, covering shoulders and knees away from the beach is respectful but not compulsory.

Is it rude to use my left hand?

Yes in most contexts. Use your right hand for giving, receiving and eating, and avoid touching people with your left.

Should I tip in Indonesia?

Not required, but appreciated. Round up taxis and leave small notes in hotels. Check the bill for a service charge before adding more.

Can I visit a temple during a ceremony?

Often yes, if you dress appropriately, stay at the edges and do not photograph people praying without asking. Follow the instructions of the temple staff.